I'm Just Having Fun With It
on audacity and joy
It’s outrageous, and I love it.
Somehow in my year and half living in the Midwest, I have grown devastatingly soft to several of its sports teams. Fear not, I have not forgotten about my Worcester, Massachusetts roots. The Boston pride is still in high gear much to many people’s disappointment. But I admit, there is something about how a Midwestern winter has me glued to a screen while my stomach, yet again, is begging for relief.
I know, at the end of the day, we are all here to see our team win. See them through the end toward the promise of parades and bragging rights. Toward the promise of a season where you saw them leave it all on the court, and it was, in fact, enough. For the games where my favorite team isn’t playing, but I still have some non-monetary stakes, I’m just here for the love of the game.
Monday night’s New York Knicks versus Indiana Pacers second-round series opened up with the sweetest thrill. My phone was propped up against my laptop screen with a stream of the game as I finished up a report for work. I was attempting to justify why conduit sizes increased from 2” to 3” for a project out in Seattle. Not quite thrilling and certainly unable to hold my attention, my eyes inevitably locked in on the little screen. The screen of unbridled joy kept my eyes in a dance of darting, daring.
There’s a lot about this game we can talk about. A never ending chest of lore to unpack and to write into the history books. There is a brotherhood, both blood and forged. The Toppin brothers sitting on opposite sides of the court for one. The affectionately dubbed Nova Knicks comprised of former Villanova teammates; Jalen Brunson, Josh Hart, and Donte DiVencenzo, for another. The trio continued their breathtaking playoff run unfazed. Brunson had his fourth consecutive playoff game scoring 40+ points. Hart somehow never left the court. DiVencenzo secured the Knicks past the finish line with a game-winning three pointer. Brotherhood aside, we could get into the refs’ calls, too. But listen, I don’t have all day.
What I will likely remember over the fact that the Knicks won is how smooth as hell Obi Toppin is. With 47.1 seconds left in the 3rd quarter, Pacer’s power forward drilled the ball across the court, blazed past Hart, and pulled out an East Bay dunk on his former team. Gracefully, he threaded the ball through his legs before guiding it through the hoop. I was on my feet hollering. It was goofy. It was outlandish. It was foul. And it was so damn good.
I am struck by his audacity. We have seen this signature move by him plenty of times in his collegiate and NBA careers, but for him to decide he is going to bring it out here? Game 1 of the Eastern Conference semifinals? To choose to bring out that flashy move here? Loud and clear, Obi Toppin is telling us he’s just having fun with it.
This isn’t to be confused with the “cool girl” shtick. This isn’t pretending to be above the stakes. It isn’t feigning indifference – like you could care less. No, here, when we have fun with it, we are showing up authentically. Knowing what we want. Saying what we want. Clearly, moving towards what we want. But we are going to do it in such a way that joy is not an afterthought. It is the driving force.
Later this week, I’ll be in France on a trip I have been dreaming on for over three years. If you asked me a week ago, I was too stuck in my head to even attempt envisioning what this dream could look like. In the aftermath of spending far too long subscribed to the “cool girl” act, I was sitting in a pool of uncomfortable feelings. I hadn’t even known I was leaving myself behind over and over again. I was mourning. But I have the audacity to pick myself up and move because I love this life and myself too much to let this moment pass me.
I am going to eat a fresh croissant at a bistro table and read James Baldwin. I am going to delight in how cliche it even may look. I am going to stare in awe at the Eiffel Tower – the real one in Paris! Not Vegas, baby! I’m going to jet off to the South of France and explore winding, pastel old towns, bathe under the sun on smooth rock beaches, and maybe even stay up all night dancing. May even have a rendezvous or two. Why not?
I’m just having fun with it.
I pray you pull whatever the East Bay Dunk version of enjoying yourself in France is! @Shivani
I love this! Lean into the earnest, baby! Have fun with it